29-year-old man locks home office to prevent brother's 24-year-old introverted girlfriend from hiding during family events, making her feel unwelcome: "I feel strange about someone treating my private work area like personal escape zone"

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 21, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Being an introvert in a world seemingly full of extroverts can be downright exhausting. Humans are a social species and have survived through the millennia primarily because of our natural inclination to group together and form communities. How is it, then, that so many of us get so stressed out by spending too much time with people – even friends and family that we like and value? Contrary to popular belief, introverts are not really defined by their lack of interest in socializing; many of us love it! It's just that we need more breaks in order to recharge our social batteries.

In our story today, a self-proclaimed introvert has taken to using a home office as her refuge during family gathering – that is, until she finds it locked. The office in question belongs to our protagonist, and he is not keen on his brother's girlfriend using his private space for any reason at all. Scroll down for the full story and to find out what internet commenters thought of the whole ordeal. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to let my brother's girlfriend use my home office as her "quiet zone" during family gatherings?

    Cheezburger Image 10531280896
    via Mizuno K from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (29M) live in a three-bedroom house. One of those rooms is my home office, set up with dual monitors, a mic, a whiteboard, and
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 03
    all that good stuff. I've invested a lot into it since I spend 40-plus hours a week working there.
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10531281664
    via Thinkstock from Photo Images

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  • 05
    My family lives nearby, so I often host birthday dinners, Sunday barbecues, and holiday gatherings. It's usually a small crowd, maybe 8 to 10 people max, but it can get pretty lively.
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 06
    Here's the issue: My younger brother's girlfriend, Alyssa (24F), is an introvert. Every time she comes over, she disappears into my office after about 20 minutes. She says
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 07
    she needs "quiet recharge time" and that my office is the only space that feels calm and safe. She'll bring a book or just lie on the couch in there.
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 08
    At first, I didn't mind, but lately, I've started locking the office door during gatherings. It's not a guest room; it's my workspace.
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 09
    Last weekend at my mom's birthday dinner, Alyssa asked my brother for the key. When he said I had it locked, she made a comment
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 10
    like, "I guess I'm not welcome to take care of my mental health here."
    via u/Haponitsu

  • I understand that it's his house, and he doesn't need to unlock random room for people, but I can't help but think he's being a bit insensitive. Well, I did think that until she made this extremely entitled comment. 

  • 11
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    via Vitaly Gariev from Pexels

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  • 12
    Now my brother is saying I'm being inflexible and making Alyssa feel unwelcome. My mom thinks I should be more understanding
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 13
    since "it's just a room." I don't want to be mean. I totally get that being around people can be draining. But I feel strange about
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 14
    someone treating my private work area like a personal escape zone. It's not a guest space; it's mine. AITA, everyone?
    via u/Haponitsu
  • 15
    Parking Fig9784 She can go outside, in the car, the bathroom, one of the other guest rooms. It's not her home.
    via u/Parking_Fig9784
  • 16
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    via dimaberlinphotos

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  • 17
    TomokataTomokato This was what I was thinking. There was many a time my husband's family would get together and I'd pop outside "to make a phone call" when I just needed to step
    via u/TomokataTomokato
  • 18
    outside away from the sensory overload. (Most of his family was lovely but I am also an introvert and boisterous crowds tend to overwhelm me more as I get older.)
    via u/TomokataTomokato
  • 19
    rosyfizzglow NTA. Your office isn't a chill-out lounge, it's your work zone. She doesn't get to claim it just because she's overstimulated. There are other ways to recharge that don't involve taking over someone else's private space.
    via u/rosyfizzglow
  • 20
    alaskotan Why can't your brother or mom offer her a quiet spot in their rooms? Oh right, because you have the nice place. That doesn't mean you're obligated to turn it into a mental health retreat.
    via u/alaskotan
  • 21
    Ok-Professional2468 No one is allowed in my office. I have unfilled paperwork in there that has customer information.
    via u/Ok-Professional2468
  • 22
    My brother's ex-MIL could not understand why she was not allowed into my office and that the door was always closed when she came to visit. "I just want a look." Nope!
    via u/Ok-Professional2468
  • 23
    Four years ago, I gave up my office to 2 kittens. They needed their space. My paperwork moved to the garage, where I have the only key.
    via u/Ok-Professional2468
  • 24
    Quantum Quokka69 Maybe Alyssa should stay home.
    via u/Quantum_Quokka69
  • 25
    Consistent-Ad3191 If she feels that way that maybe she shouldn't go or go for a walk, but there's no reason for her to be in your private space.
    via u/Consistent-Ad3191
  • 26
    She can always walk away from the situation. I find it suspicious that she would maybe she's a bit nosy.
    via u/Consistent-Ad3191
  • 27
    Incidental Apex I am an introvert, but it is ridiculously r de to disappear for hours at family events.
    via u/IncidentalApex

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boyfriend relationship advice family drama brother siblings relationships girlfriend Office couples introvert love workplace family introverts dating entitled people
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